The Ever-so-Drastic Paper Cut
by Perilous Mango Ninja
Summary: When Queen Thayet dies of a drastic paper cut, crazy things happen! This is really stupid and I wrote it while I was hyper! You have been warned. And there is a little crossover in chapter two, but well...yea... Commercials added! Guaranteed stupidit
1. The Investigation

Author's Note: I'm sorry to have killed Thayet...I needed someone really important to kill for this stupid story. Anyways, do NOT read this if you have no sense of humor or feel that I may be insulting. Disclaimer at bottom.  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: It was a typical, humdrum day in the kingdom of Tortall when suddenly, Queen Thayet was found on the floor, dead, unmarked except for her hand. It was an ultra deadly....PAPER CUT. All of the mages in Tortall were called to find out what exactly had happened.  
  
Numair: Well, there was no poison involved, so it was obviously from a dramatic loss of blood. See? *fetches the paper* no poison.  
  
Niko (Niklaren Goldeye): Oh, I see. Wait a minute. What the heck am I doing here, anyways? There's no way I could be part of a stupid story like this.  
  
Daine: You sound pretty stupid.  
  
Niko: That is insulting, young woman.  
  
Daine: I know.  
  
Niko: Why don't you shut up, you little.... little..... retard!!  
  
*Everybody gasps*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: OK, OK, Niko, get out already!  
  
Niko: Why?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Because you don't belong here!  
  
Niko: I'm offended!  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Oh well. Now get out!  
  
Niko: Fine. How do I get out?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Figure it out yourself. No, I'll do it for you.  
  
*Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person makes Niko disappear into the Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: That's better. Now get on with it, you people!!  
  
Daine: Hey, how come I don't get to go to the Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Because you have to help solve this case first.  
  
Daine: Darn.  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: So anyways, the mages gathered, and after a lot of boring talking, like this-  
  
Numair: I'm not boring!  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Who cares? I said you're boring, so be boring!!  
  
Numair: Says who?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Says me, Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person! Now get to it!  
  
Numair: Fine, fine. Anyways-  
  
Daine: I don't think you're boring, darling.  
  
Numair: Shut up, you're nothing but a child!  
  
*Daine begins to cry*  
  
Numair: Thank you. Now, as I was saying, we need to employ our top secret CIA Agents...  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: CIA AGENTS?!?!?! WHERE DID THE CIA COME FROM?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Numair: Oh, sorry. I meant...We need to employ our top secret FBI Agents...  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: FBI AGENTS?!?!?!?! YOU DON'T HAVE AN FBI! YOU ARE THE INVESTIGATORS!  
  
All mages: We are?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: YES!! THIS STORY IS ALL ABOUT HOW THE MOST INSIGNIFICANT OF YOU SOLVES THE CRIME AND GAINS TONS OF GLORY!  
  
Numair: Hey! How come I don't get to solve the crime?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: You're too stuck-up. Now get on with it!!  
  
*With a BANG!!, the Three...no..FOUR Musketeers (If you don't get it, then GO READ THE BOOK!!!) appear*  
  
The Four Musketeers: ONE FOR TWO, AND ALL FOR FIVE!!!  
  
D'Artagnan: Damn. 2347868254745th time saying that and we still haven't gotten it right. We gotta practice that.  
  
*With a POOF!, they disappear*  
  
Numair: Humph. So anyways, we must use up every last bit of our Gifts to find who gave the Queen this drastic paper cut.  
  
Insignificant Little Boy: *with a lisp* So how do we that, Mister Sir Numair Salmalin?  
  
Numair: Look at the DNA that might have been left on the paper...  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT DNA IS!!!!  
  
Numair: Then how, Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Hey...that's Mr. Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person to you, wimp. And you were supposed to trace the magic!!! If you had read your iscript/I, you would know!  
  
Numair: What script?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: AAAAAAAArrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh!!!  
  
Daine: You're stupid, Numair.  
  
*Numair glares at her. She starts crying again*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Fine then. I will tell this story.  
  
Numair: Makes sense. You're the Story Teller Person.  
  
*Everybody laughs at this smart-aleck remark*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Shut up.  
  
*Numair and everybody snickers*  
  
*Numair stares at a mirror on the wall, thus hypnotizing himself. He then forces himself to jump into a pool of starving great white sharks who miraculously don't eat him, but his toxic crayons instead. When Numair begins to cry, they bite him. All 1837456254284756 of them. This was done for no apparent reason...*  
  
Numair: That didn't feel too good... Why did I do that anyways?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: I don't know, but you really shouldn't do that to yourself. Would you shut up now?  
  
Numair: Uh...no!  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: You're really asking to be thrown into a pool of starving Geese (A/N: note the capital letter), aren't you?  
  
Numair: What are the Geese?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: They are like normal geese but they like to eat Mice.  
  
Numair: Mice?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Yea, they are like normal mice but they like to eat *whispers in Numair's ear*  
  
Numair: Um...oh...  
  
*The Four Musketeers arrive in a big cloud of smoke with a KABOOM!*  
  
The Four Musketeers: SIX FOR FIFTY THOUSAND, AND A PIG FOR A FRANC!!!!  
  
Porthos (One of the Musketeers): Why not a pig for a half-franc?  
  
*The Four Musketeers disappear looking confused at the weird remark*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Um...anyways, the mages investigated this for five thousand years. In the meanwhile, they forgot to bury Queen Thayet's body and it rotted and stank like heck. The Geese eventually ate it.  
  
*~Five Thousand Years Later~*  
  
*Yoda appears*  
  
Yoda: Look like a bald wrinkled green cat I do. Use the Force well you must. See nothing I do. Be gone I will be.  
  
*Yoda disappears*  
  
Insignificant Little Boy (Remember him?): *Still with a lisp* I know who did this!  
  
Numair: How could you, you Insignificant Little Boy? Even I don't know, and nobody's better than me!  
  
Daine: I am.  
  
Numair: Shut up.  
  
Daine: *mutters* You idiot.  
  
*Numair glares at her. She starts to cry*  
  
*Pocahontas appears*  
  
Pocahontas: You must sing with all the voices of the mountain. You must paint with all the colors of the wind!  
  
*Pocahontas disappears*  
  
Insignificant Little Boy: Umm... Anyways, after five thousand years of investigating this stupid case, we are miraculously still alive and still the same freakin' age!!!  
  
King Jon (Oooo...his 1st appearance): *In a voice like he thinks everybody loves him. In truth, nobody does* Did you hear that, my loyal loving subjects? That's high treason, it is!!!  
  
*Everybody stares at him incredulously*  
  
King Jon: Guards! Go arrest Insignificant Little Boy! (A/N: Notice that Insignificant Little Boy doesn't really have a name...)  
  
Insignificant Little Boy: Queen Thayet did it to herself!  
  
King Jon: No! Never!  
  
*Insignificant Little Boy runs back*  
  
Insignificant Little Boy: Yes, she did! And the penalty for such a crime is death! *laughs insanely*  
  
King Jon: No, you little brat!  
  
Little Brat (aka Insignificant Little Boy): Yea she did.  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: SHUT UP YOU STUPID PEOPLE!  
  
Little Brat: You're not a very nice Story Teller Person.  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: I DON'T CARE!!!  
  
Little Brat: You should  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: No I shouldn't.  
  
Little Brat: Yes you should.  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: ACK! Shut up, you little obsessive-compulsive freak!  
  
*Everybody in the room oooohs and starts chanting, "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Shut up, you idiots!  
  
*Everybody starts crying*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: *Sighs* Yes, Insigini- er...Little Brat is right. The Queen gave herself a paper cut.  
  
Numair: Why didn't you just tell us earlier? Because of you, we wasted five thousand years of life!  
  
*Balto the Sled Dog From Alaska appears*  
  
Balto the Sled Dog From Alaska: Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf ruff!!!!! (translation: Everybody here looks like a nice healthy block of Alaskan ice!)  
  
*Balto the Sled Dog From Alaska disappears, leaving a trail of... erm... doggy stuff...*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Uh... right. Anyways, you wouldn't live that long anyways. But because I am the narrator, I know all. And I am not allowed to tell you lower lifeforms everything I know!  
  
Numair: *whispers to Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person* Do you know about my affair with Varice?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: DAINE! NUMAIR'S HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH VARICE!!!  
  
*Daine gasps, slaps Numair, and runs off sobbing with a Henry the Banana*  
  
Numair: Ow. *Rubbing the cheek Daine slapped* That hurt. Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person, why does she have a banana?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Erm...Henry the Banana is her friend.  
  
Numair: What's she gonna do with Henry the Banana?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: That should be obvious.  
  
Numair: She's gonna have an affair with it!!! NOOOOO!!! DAINE!!!!!! *Tries to run after Daine*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: *Holds Numair back* OK, freak. First of all, you betrayed her. Second of all, she's going to Ieat/i Henry the Banana, stupid.  
  
Numair: Oh. Why Henry the Banana?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: You don't even know what a banana is. You didn't even know Daine had a friend name Henry the Banana!  
  
Numair: I though it was Pierre the Pear!  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Well it isn't.  
  
*And the imaginary curtain falls on the imaginary stage, and when everybody realizes the stage is imaginary, they fall down, except for Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person because the narrator is never allowed to fall or be otherwise disgraceful*  
  
So...tell me what you think! It's stupid, but see disclaimer.  
  
Disclaimer: OK, the TP characters (Numair, Daine, King Jon) are not mine, but Insignificant Little Boy (aka Little Brat) and Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person ARE mine. The toxic crayons now belong to Numair, because I don't want them anymore, and Henry the Banana belongs to Daine for the same reason. Neither the FBI nor the CIA belongs to me, because they belong to the government. The DNA also doesn't belong to me...it belongs to whoever's DNA it is. I don't know whose it is. I also do not own the Musketeers, Yoda, Pocahontas, or Balto. I respect them all, but they just have nothing to do with this stuff... Oh, and this screwed-up plot is mine, too. Now please review! And I will accept flames because...let's face it...this IS stupid. 


	2. After the Investigation

Author's Note: Well, since you seemed to enjoy my incredibly retarded fanfic, here's a sequel. If you end up liking this, too, maybe I'll write another sequel. Here, I am hyper again... I just ate Cheetos, Skittles, lots of chocolate, Doritos, and a burrito! But anyways, disclaimer at bottom because I know you love reading those...  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: That went really well!!!  
  
Numair: Of course it did! For YOU! YOU didn't have to hypnotize yourself to jump into a pool of sharks!! They ate my toxic crayons!! *Starts crying* Then they all bit me! It hurts!!  
  
Daine: Oh, you poor -  
  
Numair: *Stops crying* Hush, little baby!!  
  
*Daine starts crying*  
  
*For no apparent reason, Daine steps onto a scale*  
  
Daine: PICKAXE! I gained a few pounds!  
  
*Everybody stares at her in shock*  
  
Niko: Um... Well, at least YOU didn't have to go into the Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story!!! It's dreadfully boring in there.  
  
Daine: *Whiny little voice* I wanna go!! I wanna go!!  
  
Niko: Be my guest! It's over there. *Points in a general direction*  
  
Daine: Really?  
  
Niko: Nope, it's over there *Points in another direction*  
  
Daine: WOW!! Cool! *Goes into the Void that Has Nothing To Do With This Story*  
  
Niko: Haha! The Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story is over there!!! *Points in the opposite direction* And there *Points in another direction* and there *Points in another direction* and -  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Shut up! Shut up!  
  
Numair: WHEW!  
  
Henry the Banana: HEY!!! She forgot me!  
  
Numair: I thought she ate you!  
  
Henry the Banana: Nope!  
  
Numair: Well, maybe she doesn't like you!  
  
*Everybody oohh's and chants "Fight! Fight! Fight!"*  
  
Numair: Tell me: how am I to fight a banana?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Cream it.  
  
Numair: OK! *Turns Henry the Banana into Henry the Banana Cream Pie* There! *Starts laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world. It isn't.*  
  
King Jon: *Speaking as if he's full of himself. He is.* My loyal, loving subjects!!! Master Numair Salmon... erm... Salmonella...  
  
Numair: SALMALIN!!!!!!  
  
King Jon: Yes, yes, of course... Master Numair Salmonman has committed high treason, (A/N: In case you haven't figured it out yet, King Jon has an obsession with high treason) turning one of our beloved colleagues into a... a... pie!! *Sobs* Get going!! Arrest him!!  
  
*The Four Musketeers appear with a SPLAT* (A/N: yes... again... I have this thing for making fun of them, ok??? And I don't know about the SPLAT!)  
  
The Four Musketeers: A PEN FOR A FELLYTONE AND A MOOSE FOR A BLADVAK!  
  
*The Four Musketeers try to disappear, but fail miserably*  
  
The Four Musketeers: Oh, well! A COUGHDROP FOR A COW AND 80 GRAND FOR SOME FLOWER-SCENTED LOTION! A GLUESTICK FOR A CHICKEN'S INTESTINES AND.... *Voices continue yelling strange stuff like that*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Oh, yay. We get to listen to, not some, but THE rejected failures of the King's Musketeers. Hey! Wait a minute! *Glares at Niko* GO AWAY!!!  
  
Niko: WHY??? I'm part of the story!  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: No, you aren't. Now go away!  
  
*Niko runs off crying to Lark*  
  
Niko: Laaaaaaarrrrrrrrrk!! Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person is being mean to me!!  
  
*Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person gets mad and drops them both into the Void The Has Nothing To Do With This Story*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Hmph. I bet you 3256 pesos that they're going to have a total make-out session...  
  
Numair: I WANNA WATCH!!!  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Oh, you sicko. Fine! GO!!  
  
*Numair disappears into the Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story*  
  
*Yoda appears*  
  
Yoda: Aaaaahhh.... Here I belong not. Pocahontas I need. A lot of kissing I need. Do not get many kisses do bald wrinkled green cats.  
  
*Yoda disappears into the Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story... with Pocahontas*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Ok...not too many folks left here now. But anyways... *Eats Henry the Banana Cream Pie*  
  
King Jon: My loyal, loving subjects! Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person has committed high treason by eating our revered colleague! Arrest him! Now!  
  
*Everybody stares at him incredulously and goes into the Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story to watch all the rumoured kissing*  
  
*Harry Potter appears*  
  
Harry Potter: *Stares at Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person* You're too cool to be my friend. *Stares at King Jon* Hey! You're enough of a loser to be my friend! Just like Ron Weasley!!!  
  
King Jon: Oh! I am filled with joy!  
  
*They disappear into the Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story*  
  
*Balto the Sled Dog From Alaska appears*  
  
Balto the Sled Dog From Alaska: Ruff! Arf arf arf arf ruff? Ruff ruff! (Translation: Hey! Where's Pocahontas? I wanna kiss her!)  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: In the Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story.  
  
Balto The Sled Dog From Alaska: Arf! Arf arf arf arf RUFF! (Translation: Thanks! By the way, you look like a nice healthy igloo!!!)  
  
*Balto the Sled Dog From Alaska disappears into the Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: OK... so who's left? *Looks around* Not too many people. Well, let's join the crowd and go into the Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story.  
  
*~In the Void That Has Nothing To Do With This Story~* (A/N: Not really correct, is it? Cuz now everybody's in there...)  
  
*Everybody is kissing somebody... Niko is kissing Lark, Yoda is kissing Pocahontas, who is kissing Balto the Sled Dog From Alaska (A/N: Don't even TRY to imagine it... it's not a pretty picture!), Daine is kissing one of the Four Musketeers (Probably D'Artagnan... he isn't all old and stuff), Numair is kissing a mirror, King Jon is kissing Harry Potter (A/N: umm...what can I say...) , the rest of the Musketeers are kissing each other (A/N: Again, don't even TRY to imagine it), and Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person is kissing... um... nobody (There's nobody left for Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person. Boo hoo), and everybody else is just kissing SOMEBODY (A/N: Generously left to your imagination)  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Well... this is interesting... but not interesting enough. I wish General Pierre the Pear was here.  
  
*A pear dressed like a British general from the 1700's appears (Yes, red clothing, golden epaulettes, and a tricorn hat with an oversized white feather or whatever...)*  
  
General Pierre the Pear: March, troops! March! Left! Left! Left, right left!! *Looks around* Hey...where'd my troops go?  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Not here, obviously, Hey, dude!  
  
General Pierre the Pear: *Yelling like a drill sergeant* HALT! EVERYBODY DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!  
  
*Everybody stops, drops, and rolls over twenty times*  
  
General Pierre the Pear: NO NO NO! TWENTY PUSH UPS!  
  
*Everybody pushes twenty nails into the roof* (A/N: Don't ask me about roofs or anything in this place. Yea, I know it's weird. Welcome to MY WORLD!!!)  
  
General Pierre the Pear: YOU'RE HOPELESS! HOPELESS, I TELL YOU!  
  
*General Pierre the Pear opens up a newspaper (A/N: Again, do NOT ask) and reads, "'General Pierre the Pear Not On Time For Kidnapping,' Reports International Kidnappers"*  
  
General Pierre the Pear: OMIGOSH!!! I'M LATE!  
  
*General Pierre the Pear disappears, and everybody starts kissing again*  
  
*Crazy Reporter From Who-Knows-Where appears*  
  
Crazy Reporter From Who-Knows-Where: WOW! What an exciting day today! Nothing is really happening, but it's still exciting! Tune in next next time for "Exciting Times"!! Till then, ta ta!!  
  
*Crazy Reporter From Who-Knows-Where disappears*  
  
*Insignificant Little Boy Appears (A/N: I can't believe I almost forgot him.)*  
  
Insignificant Little Boy: Ooooo! Kissing! *Runs at everybody, who all give him a kiss.*  
  
*Insignificant Little Girl Appears*  
  
Insignificant Little Girl: *Seductively* Hello, Insignificant Little Boy...  
  
*Insignificant Little Boy and Insignificant Little Girl begin kissing (A/N: ahh... innocence... ruined!!)*  
  
Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person: Why don't I get to kiss anybody? *Pouts*  
  
Invisible Big Guy With the Booming Voice: Meet Gaklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Lady!  
  
*Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person and Gaklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Lady begin kissing*  
  
THE END  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Tamora Pierce characters. I do not own Harry Potter, the Musketeers, Yoda, Pocahontas, or Balto. I do, however, own Insignificant Little Boy, Insignificant Little Girl, Baklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Person, and Gaklakviaklaglosshia the Story Teller Lady. Blah blah blah! 


	3. Commercials!!

Author's Note: It's a commercial break! Here we see some commercials in the midst of our catastrophic... um... show? I guess you could call it that. This is just buying me time to keep you guys entertained until I release my ultra mushy fic, which was supposed to be funny at first, but failed miserably... But anyways, you don't really want to listen to me...  
  
*~Annoyingly happy, bouncy music plays~*  
  
Announcer Person: *In an annoying happy, bouncy voice* Jealous of Daine and Henry the Banana? Get your own FruitFriend! Many people have reported feeling MUCH better after calling and receiving THEIR fruit friend!  
  
Some Person With A FruitFriend: I got Gabriella the Grapefruit from FruitFriends and now I'm happier then ever! I used to have no friends, but now I always have Gabriella the Grapefruit to go to! *Hugs the grapefruit, which has a stupid-looking face drawn messily on it with a Magic Marker*  
  
Announcer Person: You, too, can have a FruitFriend! For only $2,578,339,456.57, you can be one of those losers... erm... really cool people who have FruitFriends!  
  
*~Annoyingly happy, bouncy music ends~*  
  
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*~Dramatic, dark music begins (Phantom of the Opera, probably)~*  
  
Announcer Person #2: Want to meet some of the Geese? Or the Mice?  
  
*~Music pauses~*  
  
A Bunch Of Random Kids: *enthusiastically* YEA!  
  
Announcer Person #2: Well YOU CAN'T! *Laughs evilly*  
  
*~Music resumes~*  
  
Announcer Person #2: *continues laughing evilly*  
  
*~All fades to darkness and silence~*  
  
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*~The Four Musketeers appear with a doooooog doo-doog doo dooooggg doo-doo-doooog doooog dooog dooog dooog doooooooooooooooggggg!!!!!! Dooog do doog doo doog doog doog doog doog doog doog doog ------ DOOG DOOG DOOG!(Doog doog doog!)~* (A/N: Did you HONESTLY think I would leave them out?)  
  
The Four Musketeers: Trade with us! Trade with us! *They then all try to say different things at once and everything becomes confused*  
  
*Not-so-happy Director screams at them to get on with it. The Four Musketeers glare at him, then settle down*  
  
The Four Musketeers: A CAR FOR D'ARTAGNAN, AND A ROADKILL SQUIRREL FOR SOME BUBBLE BATH! VINEGAR FOR SOY SAUCE AND BOB THE BLOB FOR A 50-POUND WATERMELON!! HALF-FINISHED MATH HOMEWORK FOR A GLUESTICK AND A BIG WOODEN FENCE FOR A DEAD PLANT!!! A-  
  
*Not-so-happy Directer tells them to shut up*  
  
*~The Four Musketeers disappear with a GABLONKERS!~*  
  
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*~A bunch of little kids appear. They are running around in a circle, holding hands~*  
  
Bunch of Little Kids: Toxic crayons! Toxic crayons! We love to eat toxic crayons! *Chanting continues in background*  
  
Way-Too-Happy Announcer Person: Are your kids eating strange things, such as chips, candy, and broccoli? Well, they will do that NO MORE! Give them... TOXIC CRAYONS!!!!!!!  
  
Bunch of Little Kids: Toxic crayons! Toxic crayons! We love to eat toxic crayons!  
  
*~They all disappear into a Void of Nothingness with a bubble bop pip pop hippy hooray!~*  
  
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*~Yoda appears with a boo bop shazam! Dekublema with a TIP TAP TOP!~*  
  
Yoda: Happening what is? Ahhh... On television Yoda is! Do not know what a television is, Yoda do. Happy Yoda is! Talking in third person Yoda is! Call 1-800-I-AM-DUMB you should! Get on television you would! Be a famous dork you would be!!!  
  
*~Yoda disappears~* (A/N: WOW! No weird sound effect this time!)  
  
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*~Dorky, upbeat music plays~*  
  
Annoyingly Cheerful Dork: Want to jump into a pool of bloodthirsty sharks? Of course you do! Don't worry, it's fun!  
  
Annoyingly Cheerful Freak: Yes! My friend got me into this program, and now I'm addicted! I just can't seem to stop jumping into pools of bloodthirsty sharks!  
  
*~Dorky, upbeat music ends ubruptly as a shark consumes the camera~*  
  
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OK, that's the end! See disclaimer.  
  
Disclaimer: I own everybody in here except Yoda, the Four Musketeers, and the mentioned Daine. My friend, however, owns the crazy sound effects. However, GABLONKERS is mine. No stealing! FIY: if you couldn't figure it out, 1-800-I-AM-DUMB is a number I made up for this, although I am probably not the first person to use it. So it belongs to whoever owns it. 


End file.
